Rule of Thirds
Have you ever heard of the Rule of Thirds? I first heard about it when Olympian Alexi Pappas told a story about her training for 2016 Rio Olympics.
Prerequisite: Doing Something Hard
Then the Rule:
A third of the time you’ll feel good
A third of the time you’ll feel okay
A third of the time you’ll feel crappy.
As long as you are living within this ratio it means you are doing okay and helps explain some of the tough days you have.
Only for Olympians?
So does this rule apply exclusively to Olympians or those striving for elite athletic performance? Simply and quite emphatically, NO. This rule applies to me and you and everyone involved in something hard.
That’s the part of this rule that is overlooked. We see each of the thirds, but we miss the prerequisite and think, “Oh they are talking about everyone else.”
Nope! What is the prerequisite for this rule? That you are doing something HARD! So let’s list some of the things that I think we could consider to be hard?
Starting a Business? Yes.
Adhering to a Diet? Absolutely.
Changing a Habit? Definitely.
Workout Routine? Hard.
Parenting? Hardest.
Rule of Thirds for Parents
It’s this last one that really got me thinking this past week. I have 3 kids, and like most parents, have days where I feel like I am keeping my head barely above water. After a particularly stressful day, as we were putting them to bed, and the kids were being….well…kids–I lost my cool a bit. Not a full yelling match. Not even raised voices. But it was clear that I was less interested in them and more interested in having some peace and quiet and no one clawing for my attention.
And after they were in bed, I hated myself. I hated myself for being that type of dad. Immediately my brain went to the most negative place. You know the familiar thoughts:
“You’re a terrible dad.”
“Your kids will hate you forever.”
“Wow, you are selfish.”
“You’re gonna miss this, you pompous prick.”
Because while I knew some of those thoughts weren’t true, I was scared that some of them might be a little bit true.
It got me really thinking about this Rule of Thirds. Because do I lose my temper with them every night? Definitely not. Do I love them, and snuggle them, and laugh with them, and tease with them, and play with them? Definitely. So that one fateful night, was my “Crappy Parent” day.
Getting Back on Track
Do I wish that wouldn’t have happened? Of course. No duh. But it did. And there’s no reason to beat myself up about something that happened in the past. I need to trust the law of averages and realize that momentum is about to swing back in my direction.
And that started that very night. After hating myself for a minute, I went back into their room, sat at the edge of their bed and explained how tired I’ve been with work and I apologized. It wasn’t their fault I get tired at work and I apologized for being snippy. The hug I got my oldest that night was one of gratitude and reassurance. She doesn’t think I’m a crappy dad. She thinks that:
A third of the time I’m not great.
A third of the time I’m doing okay.
A third of the time I’m the #1 Dad.
