Clarify Your Confidence
A common wish I hear often is “I’d like to have more confidence in my game.” That does sound pretty good, doesn’t it? But do you notice the finality in a statement like that? It makes it seem like we have confidence in our entire sport or we don’t have confidence in its entirety. That’s one of the biggest myths of confidence:
I either have confidence or I don’t.
I can either make every shot or I can’t shoot at all.
I can either do this move or I don’t know what I’m doing out here.
Sure, there are going to be things you are better at than other things. You will have things you struggle with. And even sometimes, the things you thought were your bread & butter will become harder than they used to be. When that happens, you don’t need to question your confidence entirely! Instead, I’m going to give you 3 Things to Build Confidence In.
#1- Confidence In Your Ability to Respond
When I was first starting my career, and I guess even now, there is lots of failure and lots of rejection. Bad things happened. Deals didn’t get closed. Emails weren’t responded to. People said no. That used to really get to me and it used to really hurt my confidence in my ability as a Mental Coach.
This went on until I realized I never had a response, or an action plan, for when those things would happen. I would just take it on the chin, get a little depressed, mope for a bit, and then with time get back on the horse. When I realized I wasn’t responding (or more accurately, my response took way too long), I decided to change my response IMMEDIATELY after I received bad news. Here is what my response plan looks like now:
Smile- A bad day is hard-pressed to continue with a smile on your face. Oftentimes this smile is forced. If I can’t muster the strength for that, then I do look at pictures of my kids or listen to Nate Bargatze. No matter what, it’s time to smile.
Send 1 “Thinking of You” Text- On a bad day it’s easy to become selfish and get stuck in a “Woe-Is-Me” attitude. I will take a random scroll through my contact list and send someone a “Remember that one time when…” or a “So grateful for you for teaching me…” type of text.
Keep Fishing- I will send 1 cold email to a prospective client. This keeps me productive and keeps my tank full.
Now that’s what I do and it is pretty unique to my current situation. But no matter what situation you find yourself in, your ability to Respond can be a tremendous source of confidence.
“I KNOW if this doesn’t work out, I have a plan for what to do next.”
#2- Confidence In Your Ability To Ask For Help
Of the many character traits that I admire in others, I think the one that tops the list is someone who genuinely likes to be coached. This person is open and opportunistic. They seek improvement and aren’t too proud to ask for it. They recognize the logic that there is no way they could have all the answers & look to those who can help them be the best versions of themselves.
“I KNOW that when I’m stuck I can ask someone for help.”
#3- Confidence In Your Ability To Prepare
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” Thomas S. Monson
“Preparation Negates Fear.” Kobe Bryant
There is certainly a lot of UNCERTAINTY when there is a lack of confidence. We don’t know if it’s going to go in. We don’t know if they will say yes. We don’t know what the other team is going to do. Preparation is one of the best ways for me to nullify that uncertainty.
For decades coaches have been praising the players who are “always in the film room” or “can’t get them out of the gym.” Gym rats they are called. Why does that get so much praise from coaches? How come we don’t hear a Head Coach shout out the strongest guy on the team? It’s because coaches value Gym Rats! Because those are the guys they can rely on to be prepared when the lights come on.
“I don’t know what’s coming, but I KNOW I’ve prepared my best for it.”
When you find yourself with your Confidence Tank lower than where you’d like it, remember there are a couple things you can find confidence in.
